I only can blame myself

For being very nice

For not healthy

For not be able to communicate

For a start, i'm not well being able to be a communicator

I had Chronic Migraine for 14 yrs and more. But..

Why didn't i've notice that it was a chronic migraine instead of a headache?

Why didn't i've notice things able to slip my mind because of the bad migraines that's causing the problem

Why didn't i've notice that it was my migraines that cause my performance instead of blaming that i'm not well verse

Why didn't i've noticed that being very nice is also a display of low self-esteem and insecureness?

Why didn't i've noticed that if i don't communicate, things won't get through

Why? Why? Why?

Fatigue sets in because of not able to administrate timelines well, not because of not able to do it, but because of trying to appease people's request (being nice)

Migraines, fatiguing, depression, it's a always downwards spiral

Even though when finally comes to light, i have to slowly recover to be back my usual performance

But, Better late than never

All these problems surfaced when i was faced with so much problems in my life, health and money

But i'm glad

God pointed all these things out so that despite i've failed in all 3 things in my life, i'm still be able to get up again

I remembered that in the Bible, it says

Proverbs 24:16

"For a righteous man may fall seven times And rise again, But the wicked shall fall by calamity."

Now knowing my weakness, now knowing what satan can cause me my achilles heel, i'm going to be vigilant in doing things:

Administrate my life like no other in health, money and life

To be a communicator

To be confident of knowledge, but not arrogant

To be a person of the Word

To love people, but not to be susceptible to people's personal desires

To not sunk into my own anxieties and worries, thinking too much, overly-sensitive again

Not to let worries and life to waiver my dreams and vision in God.

I'm gonna worked towards it relentlessly, tirelessly

God, let Your wisdom, let the reverent fear of You be my Guide

I shall not waiver.

Thank You God for putting back me into perspectives. You are the first best thing in my life. Always.

Love,

me